your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
