I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
