Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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