I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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