Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
