I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
