this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize