then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
