It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
its liver damage thursday
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
