i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize