Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
