the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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