You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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