I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize