I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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