omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Who wears a wallet chain?!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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