hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
