Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
