There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize