I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
