so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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