You're so nebulous sometimes
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
