i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
