I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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