I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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