i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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