i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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