bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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