Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
