How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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