Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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