I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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