Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
