After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
