if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I skipped work to stalk him.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
