last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
