Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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