Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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