I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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