Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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