They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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