I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize