when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
