is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
