VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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