FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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