it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
