How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
