No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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