I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
