Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
