I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
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Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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