Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she smelled like a LAN party
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
