is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
