I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
