so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
third nipple confirmed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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