I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
