the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
