If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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