yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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