Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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