I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
