my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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