Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I want a musical about memes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
