Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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