what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
